Stalker characteristics

Stalkers tend to be convincing and pass as an everyday normal and friendly person, appearing to be  harmless and likeable in their community.  They may appear strange at times, or a loner, but being well thought of, is important to masking their sinister side. When this side of their character appears it  is often too late to protect yourself as they have your  personal information, and know nearly everything about you,  including  daily routines, place of work, family and friends. If you are not aware that this can happen, or a trusting person with no experience of this,  it is not possible to filter the risk, and avoid giving too much information, or get involved. Grooming may take place, where the stalker plans and makes first approaches. A good  early  warning is if they are seen driving near places like your house, or work,  that are out of their way, as if by coincidence, called “drive bys” on more than one occasion. Stalkers can also lead a double life,  and may even be in a marriage or steady relationship, and may start a conversation offering stories of hard luck times, solely seeking the empathy of their victim, or target so they can gain attention.  As their time is spent focusing on their own hurts, they typically have no personal life goals, or plan to better their life, as their focus  and energy is on how they have been let down by others, and avenging the same. The perpetrator knows what he or she is doing, but lacks remorse,  guilt or desire to change, and will keep this behaviour up,  even if cautioned by the PSNI/police, working out ways of instilling fear without direct contact. Some will not stop until arrested, as they cannot resist the need to stalk. They will pursue relentlessly, their believed right to aggrieve their victim, and  if exposed,  discredit their victim in any way they can, so the true story is recreated, often reversing the victimhood  status to themselves.  They truely believe in their justification and right to avenge “hurt for hurt”, and may even believe their story of fabrication, as to what actually happened. Typical mental health issues include antisocial personality disorder, with one or more of the following traits: paranoid, sociopathicnarcissist, anxious/avoidant and/or psychotic. There will be also be strong evidence of denial, and rationalisation.

Personality disorders are mental health conditions that affect how someone thinks, perceives, feels or relates to others. Signs of antisocialpersonality disorder  and behaviours:

  • exploit, manipulate or violate the rights of others
  • lack concern, regret or remorse about other people's distress
  • behave irresponsibly and show disregard for normal social behaviour
  • have difficulty sustaining long-term, fully functioning relationships
  • be unable to control their anger
  • lack guilt, or not learn from their mistakes
  • blame others for problems in their lives
  • repeatedly break the law without learning from police cautions
  • have an unjustified sense of entitlement
  • Criminal behaviour is a key feature of APD (antisocial personality disorder), and there's a high risk that someone with the disorder will commit crimes and be imprisoned at some point in their life.  APD is one of the most difficult types of personality disorders to treat. A person with APD  will also be reluctant to seek treatment, as they believe they are the one that was wronged,  and may only start therapy when ordered to do so by a court.
Unfortunately, there are times when another/s will collude with a stalker, not realising the extent of the fear the stalker has inflicted on their victim, or lengths they have gone to. Often when a relationship ends,  people volunteer information that the stalker has a history, which they were afraid to share at the time of the relationship, especially if there is violence or mental health issues, or serial stalker reputation, due to fear.  Their campaign can last for many years until they move their attention to the next person, or when they slip up and are witnessed and arrested/prosecuted for harassment, property damage, or assault or attempted murder. They spend a lot of time cyber stalking, following, gossiping, and searching for ideas, to gain revenge or seek anything they can find out about their victim,  just within the boundaries of being arrested, and this can become their reason for existence. There are five different stalker types and they have been expertly identified and profiled by ,  which will give insight into the type of stalker encountered. Two other great sites and campaigners are,  and REFERENCES: -Are you Involved with a Psychopath?  Michael G. Conner, Psy.D.; -Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (American Psychiatric Association 1994);- -Counselling Theory and Practice,   N Thornes ,     and